Use your words carefully

Use your words carefully; a post inspired by Lucinda Green.

Use your words carefully, because they reflect what you think, and actually can reinforce what you subconsciously believe. Use your words carefully, because they will reflect and reinforce how you behave. Use your words carefully, your internal dialogue as well as the external conversation.

A light bulb book for me this year was Shad Helmstetter’s “What to Say When you Talk to Yourself”.

 

 By listening to our internal dialogue (the little voices in our head) we can hear when we are self-critical, or self-sabotaging. Once you have listened to your internal dialogue you can pick aspects of it to re-programme, and improve. For example “I am always late”, “I’m a late person”, “I find it really hard to be on time”. If I say that to myself all the time, what is the outcome? You’ve guessed it- rarely on time. If I change that to “I am often late because I try to fit too much in and am unrealistic about how much time things take” then that phrase allows me to change: I can decrease my commitments, say no occasionally, make sure I include journey time and cup of tea time and hey presto, “I am now often early”. Use your words carefully, and choose good ones.

What’s this got to do with horses I hear you cry? Well everything, as everything to do with horse also has to do with life.

Use your words carefully when you talk about your horse.

Phrases I have heard recently “Rude down the rein” “Just taking advantage” “Just being a brat”

“Just being a brat” was me. Our youngster Rocky was pretty easy as a 4 year old.

This year he has found his body and has been throwing some amazing shapes. It’s been scary, amusing, testing, in varying degrees. When the international standard movement and that athletic warmblood body turn up at full power, it feels spectacular. As we are getting too old to bounce, he went to boot camp, twice. He came back both times better but still making shapes. At the last clinic with Patrice, I ‘finally’ realised the shapes were a reaction to the rider being out of balance. That’s why I always felt I was sat in the middle of the buck, or leap, he was putting me back where he wanted me to sit! As he is young and slightly crooked, the left side of his body feels like an empty space. When I sit level, he levels himself, the left side of his body comes under me, both hind legs can go forward and hey presto, so can the whole horse. So the shift in mindset is that he’s allowed to tell us when the rider is out of balance, but quietly and politely. An ear flicker would be adequate, rather than a full blown capriole. So we listen to him, quietly, and he turns the volume down. The last few rides have been delightfully uneventful!

 

“Just taking advantage” was a comment made by a friend when we were chatting about the recent Lucinda Green demo masterclass at Aintree.  A lovely ex-racehorse had misunderstood the complex grid and had run out past the tiny skinny, twice. The rider had allowed the horse to run past the obstacle and so the horse had learned- “Oh, it’s OK if I run past this little silly thing because he lets me”.

Horses always know where their feet are.

So Lucinda’s instructions were to stop the horse, immediately, so he couldn’t run away past the fence. The rider was then to ask for rein back, reversing away from the fence enough to allow a repeat approach. She then uttered the phrase which absolutely made my evening “Regroup. Let him breathe and then ask him to take you over the fence.”

And he popped it beautifully. Such a simple change of phrase changed everything.

Use your words carefully.

Just look again at the difference between those 2 phrases.

“Taking advantage”.  He wasn’t. He was doing what he had been taught, very quickly, by being allowed to run out on two previous attempts. Horses learn in an instant.

Once it was explained to him that the run out wasn’t the correct answer, and he was given time to regroup, he found another answer just as quickly. The correct answer, for which he got rewarded. How many riders or trainers do you know that might have chased him in, given him a smack, got stronger and louder, when all the horse needed was the time to think and a better explanation?

Use your words carefully.

“Ask him to take you to the fence.” A lifetime of sympathetic horsemanship and horse-centred training summed up in that one phrase.

You can almost hear the horse saying “Oh, OK. Just that? Just pop over that stupid thing? OK, I can do that.”

“Rude down the rein” or “he just barges into me” are phrases we hear often. To me, that description sums up a horse that is completely on the forehand, running forward out of balance. This is really clear if you look at postures in standing position- are the front legs slanted backwards, does the horse’s chest protrude over its forelegs, do the horse’s chest muscles look like GG boobs?

This photo is of Rocky, our youngster, demonstrating slight downhill balance. 

It’s less obvious but equally distressing to the horse when you see them ridden “in an outline”, nose tucked in, face behind the vertical. Look at the slope of the torso from croup to shoulders; is the horse level or running downhill? Look at the front leg movement in walk, do the forelegs get placed in front of the shoulders or do they only pick up when the horse’s chest has already gone over the top of them? This horse is also falling over forwards. That’s why he barges into you; he can’t help himself. That’s why he’s bearing down on the rein; he’s catching himself, every stride. And just because it looks pretty, looks like the pictures in the magazines, that doesn’t make it correct. Every forward movement is done with momentum rather than control… imagine how stressful that must be for a prey animal that always knows where its feet are.

The answer, of course, is to teach our horses better balance. And we do this by basic dressage, the classical way, for the good of the horse, to build a better, more gymnastic body, not just to go out and compete at Novice dressage for the rest of our lives.

Lucinda was very strict on this. She made sure we all understood how horses see- their long distance vision is from the top of their eyes, so they need their heads up to see the fence. Their short distance vision requires them to look down, hence why they might put their heads down to check out ditches or water. As riders we have to allow and indeed encourage the correct head position, and not be pulled out of the saddle if the horse changes. If the rider tips forward the horse has to lift both himself and the rider off his shoulders to jump the fence.

An analogy Lucinda used for a better seat connection was to ride plugged into the saddle, like a 3 point plug, with longer reins, with most of the horse in front of you not behind you. This is the same seat Charles teaches, although he emphasise elbows more. It’s the Classical seat that has served for hundreds of years for dressage, jumping, and even warfare. Of course one should go with the horse over then fence, but never ahead of the horse. The feeling was likened to row 25 of the airplane, when they put the most passengers at the back so the thing takes off.

The canter has to have enough quality, not speed, that the horse has options and choices. Lucinda said she never looks for strides, and indeed she didn’t measure any distances for any exercise during the whole evening; if the canter is good enough the horse can choose. And the fences weren’t big: the point of the exercise was to teach quick feet and quick brains, not to prove scope.

Lucinda said she likes to ride as if a 5 bar gate could pop up at any point in front of her and the horse could jump it at that moment. Patrice, our regular trainer, says a dressage horse should be able to jump a four foot fence out of every stride- that is the definition of ‘in balance’ and ‘on the aids’. Interesting that both these ladies have evented at 4 star level. They are not afraid of the whole horse turning up at full power- they are most afraid of the whole horse not turning up!

Be honest now- do you have that feel in most of your rides? I know I don’t…but what a great image to work towards.

So just spend a few moments this week, as well as listening to your horse, please also listen to yourself. Listen to the words you use when you talk about your horse, and choose them carefully.

And be very careful of the words you use when around your horse. Horses are incredibly sensitive to intent, and respond much better when listened to and acknowledged rather than being told “Get on with it you beggar!” A horse that is loved and respected will try his heart out for you.

And make his body better and stronger by working him in balance so he can try his heart out for you, for years and years and years.