And as humans we often have only so much energy. And only so much thought.
Since Rocky went over the rainbow, Cal has become my main horse again. I had forgotten how deep and meaningful that relationship with a single horse can be. We two are back to living the caballero legend, like a knight of old, with a prized and precious horse, taking on the world.
One to one, the relationship can become all consuming and so very rewarding. We know each other’s moods, each other’s bodies, each other’s foibles. I can feel his energy field from across the farm, I can lie in my bed at night and conjure his face, or the feel of riding him, I can rehearse moves in my head and my muscles and bring that muscle rehearsal to the party next time I ride. I can become obsessed with my position, my intention, my dreams for him. It is like having him from new all over again, everything is possible, except that now it is so much better because we have history and form and a relationship.
It is like finding your best friend again after a few years out of touch.
I had forgotten how much I genuinely love my best boy.
The Bedouin slept with their horses in their tents for good reason- for warmth, for security, for the horse’s safety, but how close that relationship must have been. A horse that loves you will go into battle for you.
And horses are indeed capable of love. Any person who spends a significant amount of time with horses will have no doubt in their mind that this is true. Horses recognise you in the morning, gain comfort from their regular handlers in hospital situations, will look to their human for reassurance in scary situations. If you are that human whom the horse trusted, this is the greatest privilege of all.
Cal has literally blossomed again in the role of main horse. He has always been quite self-contained, quite aloof and self-sufficient. He is food orientated but has never been much of a one for cuddles. He is now looking trim and fit, as well as alert, keen and interested in life. The little bit of extra spice has made him much more fun to ride; he feels like a willing partner in adventure rather than an acquiescent worker. We have been going out loads, for lessons, for weekend clinics, for competitions. He has taken it all in his stride, happy to please, be it baby piaffe steps or a show jumping course.
He had very little of my psychological energy in recent years where Rocky was working, or mostly rehabbing. It has been a joy to remember how much I love riding the gorgeous grey, how he can be a horse for all seasons, a war horse as well as a happy traveller.
A tricky horse, a rehab horse, can become all consuming, a psychological drain that leads you to question every ability, every choice, every moral question, including whether it is even ethical to ride, or to seek the riding relationship. Cal has in his time been all of those things; a rehab, a psychological and a financial drain. He broke his carpal bone aged 6, had 8 weeks in a splint, 12 weeks box rest, then 3 months walking in hand. Because of the fracture, I knew I would never shoe him but he has been the most difficult horse to keep healthy let alone barefoot, due to inflammatory and metabolic issues. He has had ulcers, recurrent abscesses, respiratory disease, seasonal head-shaking. He has been a horse that needed dressage to keep him rideable and usable, a body that needed advanced education to become strong. He has been the horse of hundreds of incremental improvements, in husbandry, in diet, in hoof-care, in correct work.
I am now reaping the rewards. He is fit and healthy and stronger than ever, in his prime at 18. I am so much more accomplished as a rider and trainer than I would ever have believed possible in the years when I was whizzing around the world on polo ponies as a teenager. I used to think shoulder in was a distant pinnacle to aspire to and dreamed only of galloping and jumping cross country. Who knew that the horse I originally bought as a low level eventing doer-upper would become the classical dressage professor and that his lesson for me would be that horses need all the work before they can get strong enough to canter and jump in a way that is healthy rather than damaging to their bodies.
Energy follows thought. And Cal has had masses of both. And I am so very grateful that he has welcomed the me back into the centre of his life and that we now can continue the journey.
What do I dream of for him now? The glorious feeling of charging around a cross country course, of exploring the country, and exploring the possibilities.
Where would I like to finish up? With piaffe, solid changes, levade.
But most of all I hope for many more years of simply loving the moment, of the joy of feeling his back lift me up, the minutiae of obsessing about the weight across his shoulders or the magnificent feeling as he sits up and back and takes on the world, a dragon slayer. Cloud Warrior was the name I chose for him and that dream has come true.
Love isn’t always enough. But with knowledge and education and a bit of obsession it can be. Energy follows thought. And as Einstein said, energy is everything.
