“Being Seen, Being Heard, Feeling Felt and Getting Gotten”

I have been pondering and playing with the concepts of connection and communication in riding, rather than control or coercion. And the idea of consent.

In some ways I always ask consent of my horses. I wait for them to take a step towards me in the field before I put the headcollar on. I allow them to sniff the brushes before I get stuck into grooming. I acknowledge that Cal has a very tickly stomach and I am careful which brush I use to get the mud off. More work for me, but it’s more pleasant for him. I pick the mud out of his ears by hand scratching. I make sure they all offer me the hoof that I want to clean out. When I am tacking up, they should come to the front of the stable volunteering to be ridden. Both Cal and Rocky like to have a good empty before I put the saddle on- I allow them the time to do this.

If we seek a true partnership with our horses then it follows that they should be allowed, able and comfortable to offer an opinion. I changed the ramp on my lorry a few years ago. It used to be carpet and I changed it to rubber matting. Big mistake as it turns out- a few years on the rubber matting is now slippery when wet. Cal was reluctant to load yesterday after slithering a little on the ramp once or twice over the past few weeks. I talked to him and told him I understood and I have promised him I will sort it and have ordered some sticky backed grip tape- I do hope that works. Horses may not understand words but they understand intent. Knowing that I register his comments and acknowledge them was enough to persuade him to load.

Others may have escalated the pressure in that situation and compounded the negative association with loading. That is counter- productive. I know exactly why he hesitates to step on the ramp- why would I punish him for being careful?

A few years ago the clutch in my truck went the day before a 3 day clinic. My local friend very kindly lent me her 7.5 tonne truck. Her horses have all been terrible travellers as long as I have known her but they are all related, out of the same mare, and I just thought they were highly strung. Cal always loads and travels beautifully- when things are right. By day 3 of the 3 day weekend Cal was refusing to get in my friend’s 7.5 tonne lorry. It looks like a great truck, well maintained, airy, spacious, but there must be something very peculiar about the suspension and the ride.

Funnily enough, the friend went on to get a new truck and her current crop of horses all load and travel beautifully!

If horses are not in a mental and physical balance that enables them to complete the task requested then they will express that, as a bit of stiffness or resistance, or perhaps even as a big explosion. Our job as riders is to set them up for success. Balance before movement. Mental balance and physical balance are intimately related in horses. The flight response is all about stiff muscles, braced spine, ready to flee. Horses will say- I can’t do that with this body. Or the flip side of the dilemma- I can’t do that in this moment with this brain.

If we can change that response we can enable better choices.

If the horse needs a moment to check something strange and scary when they are out hacking, until they are happy before walking past, then surely that is fine? Horses have no concept of time- stay a second or stay 10 minutes- they have no idea. Rocky plays reverse and go forwards a bit with stuff he isn’t sure about- if I wait and breathe and let the process happen at his speed- obviously praising the forwards but not over-stressing or fighting the backwards- it sometimes takes 3 or 4 reverses, the last one being the furthest back before he then always psychs himself up to walk or even trot past the scary object in a calm curious manner. If I get agitated and push him beyond his comfort zone then things can quickly deteriorate. Since I have been more patient to let him think and process he is much more willing to let me encourage him past the less scary stuff. It is all about an ongoing conversation.

It can all change with a heartbeat.

The science tells us that a horse’s heart emits 40 times more electromagnetic force than a tiny little human heart. Horses in a herd use this force field effect to synchronise their heartbeats. When a horse on the edge of the herd sees or senses something suspicious, their heartbeat will speed up. The rest of the herd feel this increase in heart-rate and are suddenly equally on alert.

You can find the webinar explaining the original research into heart rate synchronicity between horses and humans here https://www.heartmath.org/resources/downloads/heart-heart-communication-horses/

We can use this synchronicity effect to our advantage when riding or training. The vagus nerve is the nerve of para-sympathetic innervation. The parasympathetic nervous system inhibits the body from overworking and restores the body to a calm and composed state. It can be described as the “rest and digest” system. This is the opposite to the “flight or fight” response, activated by the sympathetic nervous system. When we breathe out slowly so our out breath is longer than our in breath, this activates the vagus nerve, and therefore para-sympathetic innervation. Calm returns.

You can test this slowing effect of the vagus nerve by feeling your own pulse, or your dogs heart-beat when he is lying next to you. When you breathe out long and slow, your heart beats a touch slower than when you breathe in. My dog has quite a marked variability when he is relaxed.

Breathing out while in the saddle also activates your diaphragm-seat connection. A good slow out breath pulls you deeper into the saddle, onto the back of your seat- bones. The horse will feel your calm, low heart beat, from as far as 4 feet away apparently, and theirs will synchronise to match. That is how they are programmed. Calm returns.

Conversely, if you tighten and tense up and breathe short sharp shallow breaths under tension, then the sympathetic “fight or flight” system takes over. We tend to hunch, subconsciously, putting us into a grip and clutch mode, on the front of our pelvis, and our heartbeat speeds up.

And the horse will feel this, and synchronise to the faster human heartbeat, which makes them anxious too. A horse at rest has a pulse of 24-48 beats a minute- this is much slower than the human average of 60-100. To be sharing calm with our horses, we need to very consciously make sure we are at the bottom end of this human range.

The meaning of dressage comes from the word root of “dress” or “to straighten”. The creation of a straight or “well dressed” horse is the purpose of dressage. And a straight or well dressed horse is able to perform any task required in that moment, assuming that the task requested has been prepared for with appropriate training and conditioning work, and the horse is in a mental state that allows cooperation.

With Rocky I have realised that I must apply equal emphasis to the mental as well as physical balance. With a big, athletic and genetically gifted horse, the sympathetic nervous system “no” can be too loud and too explosive to allow constructive dialogue. It is hard to have an ongoing conversation when we have parted company.

You could replace the word obedience to with ability to correctly respond and then you avoid the negative impression of mental submission.

For me submission is the horse offering its beauty and power in perfect mental and physical balance to the rider; like a pair of dancers or figure skaters jamming and saying “what shall we mess with next?’

So I breathe. And sit relaxed and loose. And deliberately slow my heart. And then we can talk. And hopefully one day we will dance, two hearts beating as one.

Thanks for reading.